When Your Child Needs a PA: A SEND Parent's Story
“Nobody hands you a manual when your child has additional needs.”
Hi I am Catherine Ann, MObster, SEND parent and founder of Life Admin App, Doqit.
Catherine Ann and her daughter, Chloe
There's no preparation for the emotional journey, the constant advocacy, or - something rarely talked about - the overwhelming tsunami of administrative tasks that comes with them.
I discovered this while navigating my daughter's journey. Without a diagnosis until she was nine, we’ve always lived in a world of perpetual paperwork - medical reports, therapy assessments, educational evaluations, appointment letters. It felt like swimming in treacle, trying to keep everything organised while being present for what really mattered - my daughter.
The reality of SEND parenting isn't just about the care; it's about becoming your child's administrator, advocate, and voice. In one year alone, we had around 50 appointments to manage. Each one generating more paperwork, more reports to read, more actions to track. I learned early on to ask every professional to copy in all other specialists involved - because the system itself seldom joins the dots.
As a lone parent, I had to work and found myself working ‘flexibly’ before it was a thing - because that's what my daughter needed. Between managing her care, coordinating appointments, and maintaining a career, I was also wrestling with what felt like a small rainforest of paperwork...
Then there's the benefits system. The Disability Living Allowance form alone is 40+ pages of heart-wrenching questions about what your child can't do. Personal Independence Payment applications, Direct Payments assessments, Blue Badge renewals - each requiring you to detail your child's challenges over and over. It's not just time-consuming - it's emotionally draining. Having to focus on your child's difficulties rather than their achievements, documenting their worst days instead of their best, all while trying to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook for their future.
Looking back, those early years feel like a blur of filing cabinets and folders, tabs and categories, trying to create order from chaos.
Everything was paper - there was no digital alternative - which meant not just managing the information, but finding physical space for it all. Reports needed reading, digesting, actioning, filing. The mental load was enormous.
For years, I felt numb. Each new appointment brought more paperwork, more information to process, more things to remember. It was like building a jigsaw without knowing what the picture should look like, trying to fit pieces together while new pieces kept appearing.
But here's what I learned: while the system isn't always fair, you can find ways to navigate it.
Yes, it's true that often the child whose parent shouts loudest gets the most support. So you learn to advocate your bollocks off! Because you are your child's voice, their champion, their case manager.
And find your tribe. There are excellent support communities out there (and some not so good ones - choose carefully). Other parents who've walked this path before you can share their experiences, their shortcuts, their wisdom. Ask for help. Ask questions. Share what you learn.
Importantly, find a way to keep all the reports and information together. Medical reports, educational assessments, appointment letters, medication schedules - they all need a home. Because in the midst of caring, advocating, and being present for your child, the last thing you need is the admin chaos adding to your stress.
Through it all, I learned that while the paperwork is overwhelming, it should never overshadow what really matters.
My focus was always my lovely girl - helping her reach her milestones, ensuring she had good life experiences, making sure she knew she was my priority and absolutely loved.
The admin? I just had to manage, and did drop a lot of balls along the way.
Today's reality brings its own challenges. While we've moved from paper to digital solutions, the administrative load hasn't reduced - it's just scattered differently. Secure NHS portals, local authority systems, school platforms, emails, texts, and attachments - vital information spread across multiple digital locations, each with their own passwords and access requirements.
The principle remains more important than ever: staying organised, keeping everything accessible, maintaining meticulous records. Because when you're advocating for your child's needs, having immediate access to the right information at the right time isn't just convenient - it's essential. . Because when you're advocating for your child's needs, information is power.
To parents just starting this journey: yes, it's hard. You're dealing with the unexpected, navigating unfamiliar territory, and facing what feels like an avalanche of paperwork and information. But I can tell you – you are stronger than you know, and more capable than you imagine.
But I do want to mention the importance of taking care of yourself. We've all heard the advice about not pouring from an empty cup. But here's the reality that SEND parents know all too well - sometimes there's no one there to fill it.
The combination of constant advocacy, endless administrative tasks, medical appointments, and educational meetings creates a unique type of exhaustion. It's not just physical tiredness - it's the emotional load of navigating complex systems, the mental strain of remembering every detail, the hypervigilance of always being 'on'.
Getting organised isn't just about efficiency - it's about survival. It's about creating small pockets of control in a situation that often feels overwhelming. When the paperwork is managed, when systems are in place, when you know exactly where to find that vital report - that's one less thing depleting your energy.
Those small wins matter. Because every bit of mental space we can free up is energy we can redirect to either our children or - just as importantly - ourselves.
Remember:
Find your support network
Create systems that work for you
Ask for help when you need it
Never stop advocating
Because while being a SEND parent might feel like a full-time secretarial job sometimes, it's really about love, determination, and the fierce drive to give your child the best possible support. The paperwork? That's just the tools we use to make it happen.
You've got this. And your child has you - their strongest advocate, their most dedicated supporter, their voice.
That's what really matters.
Catherine Ann, The Founder of Life Admin App - Doqit
About Me:
I'm Catherine Ann, an early member of the MOBS, founder of doqit, and proud SEND mum to Chloe.
Perhaps we've met at an event or Pitch Club? If not, hello!
I created the doqit APP after experiencing firsthand how overwhelming life admin can be, especially while raising a child with additional needs. To bring doqit to life, I raised angel investment, and last year won the FinTech Innovation Challenge.
The MOB community has been incredible - the connections, collaborations, and support have been game-changing.
I'd love to connect if we haven't already! You can find me on LinkedIn or Instagram - let's continue the conversation.
About Mums Who Build (The MOB)
The MOB is a vibrant grassroots community Based in London and Online - designed to support female founders, working mums, and aspiring entrepreneurs who are building businesses, careers, and financial independence — all while raising children. We’re redefining what leadership for women looks like by offering real business opportunities, practical education for women, and powerful networking for women who want to grow personally and professionally. Whether you're just starting out or scaling up, Mums Who Build offers a trusted space to connect, learn, and thrive — because ambition and motherhood should go hand in hand.
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