CEO of Your Own Life vs Admin Assistant to Everyone Else

BLOG special based on an interview with Tiyanna Noel, ‘Mobster’ and Co-Founder of The Rare Mare Photobooth, Written by Kim, founder of Kindness for Success, Life coach for working mums.

At a recent Mums Who Build event, I heard something that really stayed with me for days after…

“Be the CEO of your own life, not the admin assistant to everyone else’s.”

These were the words of Tiyanna Noel, MOBSTER, cofounder of The Rare Mare Photobooth and all round awesome human. Tiyanna was one of the panellists on the launch of The MOB App (were you there? If you were, I have no doubt you’ll remember how awesome she was!).

Given the on-going reflections on Tiyanna’s words, I got in touch and asked if she’d be up for a conversation which has not only lead to an interview for this blog (keep reading you’re in for a treat) though also a further collaboration in a couple of months from now – watch this space!

ANYWAY, if you’re reading this then I already know that you’re an ambitious working mum building a career or business, and given this, the chances are you’re already a CEO somewhere (and most likely in multiple places!)

You lead projects.You make decisions.You drive outcomes.

And yet, at home?

You’re often the one:

• remembering everything

• organising everything

• carrying the mental load

• holding it all together

Somewhere along the way, many of us have become incredibly capable… and quietly over-responsible. Join me as I explore this idea further with Tiyanna…  

What Being the CEO of Your Own Life Actually Looks Like

When I asked Tiyanna what this looks like in real life, her answer was refreshingly honest:

“Being the CEO of my own life doesn't mean everything is perfectly managed. It means I've accepted that life is chaotic and I'm still choosing to lead it anyway.”

She’s a mum of two, works full time, and runs a business with her fiancé. Her life is full, fast, and very real. The difference?

“I'm not just reacting to that chaos. I'm making intentional decisions about where my energy goes.”

That might look like protecting time with her children, choosing opportunities that genuinely excite her, or advocating for flexibility when she needs it.

And sometimes, it looks like joy:

“Sometimes the CEO decision is buying the ridiculously overpriced £7 hot chocolate… because life shouldn't only be about responsibility.”

Life will always be a juggle. The shift is whether you are leading it, or just reacting to it. Yikes, I asked myself how often I react versus lead, it’s a great reflective one!

Why Ambitious Working Mums End Up Carrying Everything

This is where so many working mums feel the pressure.

At work, you are trusted to lead.At home, you often become the invisible operations system.

The planning.The remembering.The emotional labour.

Tiyanna put it simply:

“A lot of women have been conditioned to believe that being capable means being constantly available.”

And for high performing, ambitious mums, that becomes a trap.

Because when you are capable, you step in.

And when you step in consistently, everything starts to land with you.

Over time, the mental load expands, and burnout quietly creeps in. NOT because you are failing, but because you are carrying more than was ever designed for one person.

The Leadership Gap Between Work and Home

One of the biggest gaps I see in the women I work with is this:

They lead powerfully at work…But default to over-functioning at home.

Why?

Because leadership at work is visible.Leadership at home is invisible.

And invisible labour rarely gets questioned.

So we tell ourselves:

• “It’s quicker if I just do it”

• “It won’t get done properly otherwise”

• “It’s easier this way”

But as Tiyanna said:

“Leadership isn't about control. It's about trust.”

And that applies at home just as much as it does at work. Being capable does NOT mean carrying everything. Sometimes leadership looks like stepping back, not stepping in.

What Self-Leadership Looks Like in Real Life

When life is busy, messy, and everything feels urgent, self-leadership isn’t about balance. It’s about clarity.

Tiyanna shared an example of a week where her daughter had a competition, and she had a business event at the same time.

Old approach?

Try to do both.End up stretched and stressed.

Now? “One of us goes to the competition, the other runs the event. Problem solved.”

Simple. But it requires a shift.

“Self leadership isn't about doing everything yourself. It's about deciding what actually deserves your energy and having the courage to let the rest go.”

This is where self-kindness becomes a leadership behaviour. Not something you earn after everything is done.

But something that shapes how you decide.

One Small Shift That Reduces the Mental Load

If you take one thing from this, let it be this question:

“Does this actually require me?”

So many working mums are operating in over-functioning mode.

We step in before anyone else has the chance.

We fill the gaps automatically.

And over time, everything becomes ours to carry.

But: “You don't have to prove your capability by doing everything.”

Sometimes the most powerful shift is pausing.

Letting someone else figure it out.Letting something be done differently.Letting go of control.

Because if you are always the one saving the day, eventually everyone expects you to.

From Over-Functioning to Self-Leadership

The women I work with are not lacking ambition.

They are building careers.Growing businesses.Creating financial security.

But many are doing it while carrying an invisible load that is unsustainable.

Being the CEO of your own life is not about doing less, it’s about leading differently.

It is about:

• choosing where your energy goes

• questioning what truly requires you

• trusting others to carry their part

• and making decisions that support sustainable success

This is the work we do inside my Kindness For Success community.  

Not removing responsibility, but carrying it in a way that doesn’t lead to burnout.

Because success, in motherhood and career, should not come at the cost of yourself.

With huge thanks to Tiyanna – if you’re not already following her do it now!  linkedin.com/in/tiyanna-noel-03048412b

www.instagram.com/theraremarephotobooth/