What Loneliness Really Means for Single Parents
Hi Mobsters, I am Orla Donoghue and I am a life coach for single parents, podcast host of ‘Single Parent Reset’, and founder of Solas Coaching. I empower single parents to lead fulfilling lives and partner with organisations to drive inclusion and shift the narrative around single parenthood at work and beyond. I have been a member of the MOB for over a year now and cannot believe just how lucky I am to be involved with such an incredible group of inspiring women.
Orla Donoghue- life coach for single parents, podcast host of ‘Single Parent Reset’, and founder of Solas Coaching.
Through my work as a single parent coach, I’m always struck by how many common themes come up for those struggling. What surprises me most is that nearly every single parent I meet feels like they’re the only one going through these feelings, that no one else could truly understand. This sense of isolation and the loneliness that often comes with it, is a huge part of the single parent experience, yet it’s rarely talked about openly.
That’s why I want to explore how loneliness shows up for single parents and, most importantly, share ways you can overcome it and find the connection you deserve. And if you’re not a single parent yourself, I encourage you to keep reading because gaining insight into this experience will help you better support the single parents in your life.
How Loneliness Shows Up
Loneliness for single parents isn’t just about being physically alone, though that can certainly be part of it. Often, it’s a deeper sense of disconnection that can come even when surrounded by others.
Family gatherings, for example, might feel difficult. You might find yourself comparing your family to more traditional setups, or face the awkwardness of explaining why your children aren’t there because it’s their weekend with the other parent. Social events can sometimes feel intimidating when you arrive solo, without a partner by your side.
Weekends can swing wildly from feeling isolated and empty when your children are with their other parent, to being completely exhausted from managing all the parenting duties when they are with you. Both ends of this spectrum can bring their own loneliness.
Within your social circles, you may be the only single parent. This can feel alienating, especially if friends regularly go out and you can’t join due to childcare. It’s easy to mask your feelings by saying “I’ll try next time,” even when you know you probably won’t make it.
Everyday logistics also weigh heavy, the solo school runs, all the housework, and managing sick days with no one to share the load. And without a partner at home, there’s no one to share the small joys or big stresses, which can deepen the feeling of being alone even in your own house.
Taking Steps Toward Connection
The first and most important step is to acknowledge how you feel. Loneliness is a natural response to difficult circumstances, not a reflection of failure. Be compassionate with yourself and allow space to feel without guilt. You do not need to feel guilty for admitting you are lonely, recognising these feelings is important because it’s the first step toward finding ways to address them and build the connection you crave.
Once you have acknowledged how you are feeling, spend some time reflecting on what connection really looks like for you. Ask yourself the following:
● How would I prefer to feel?
● What small, realistic steps can I take to bring more of that feeling into my life?
Small steps for you could be a quick call to a friend, sharing a small parenting victory, or listening to a podcast by and for single parents to hear voices that truly understand your
experience. These small moments build bridges to community even when your time is limited.
Bigger steps might include joining a local or online support group (Gingerbread and Frolo are great places to start), inviting friends over for takeaway so you can be with others without the pressure of going out, or asking for help when you need it whether that’s for a babysitter, someone to talk through a big decision with, or help school runs.
What’s important here is that you make it work for you. Everyone is different, what brings connection to one person might overwhelm another. Maybe a weekly meetup works, or perhaps a regular call with a close friend is better for your lifestyle and energy. The key is finding what feels right and doable for you.
Challenging Your Own Assumptions
You may have identified that you are lonely and know exactly what you’d like to do to bring more connection into your life but for some reason, you just can’t seem to take that first step. If this sounds like you, know that it’s completely normal. Sometimes, what holds us back is our own inner critic or the assumptions we make about ourselves and others. So if you find yourself resisting those first steps to connect, try asking yourself the following questions:
● What’s holding me back?
● What assumptions am I making about others or myself?
● Are these beliefs really true?
For example, I used to dread Sunday afternoons when my son was with his dad because I assumed friends would be busy or feel sorry for me. When I finally opened up, I discovered those assumptions were false. Friends were delighted to invite us over. Opening up can break down barriers and create the connections we need.
Remember, loneliness is a common part of the single parent journey but it doesn’t have to define your experience. By acknowledging your feelings, taking small steps toward connection, and challenging the assumptions that hold you back, you can build a support network that truly supports you. You are not alone, and there is a community of single parents who understand what you’re going through. Every small step you take toward connection counts.
If you want to learn more about the work I do to support single parents and how I partner with workplaces to create better environments for single parents, feel free to connect with me on socials or listen to the Single Parent Reset podcast for practical insights and real stories from single parents.
To connect with me or learn more about me and the work that I do, you can find me at:
Website: www.solascoaching.com
LinkedIn: Orla Donoghue
Instagram: @solascoaching
Tik Tok: @solascoaching
Podcast: the Single Parent Reset podcast
About Mums Who Build
Mums Who Build is the UK’s mission-led community for ambitious mums who want to grow their confidence, careers, and financial independence - without burning out. Whether you’re building a business, navigating a career pivot, or figuring out your next step, we offer expert-led workshops, peer support, and real-life networking opportunities to help you thrive. Our three pillars - Wellbeing, Connection, and Financial Fitness - are at the heart of everything we do. You can join us online through our MOB+ membership for 24/7 support and resources, and at our free weekly and monthly in person mum meetups across London, including Walthamstow, Crouch End, Stoke Newington, and launching in Notting Hill this September.
On Thursday 3 October, we’re hosting a special Single Parent Big MOB Mum Meetup in partnership with Orla Donoghue, founder of Solas Coaching and the Single Parent Reset podcast. This empowering morning will explore how to build connection, confidence, and community as a single parent, with space for real conversation and practical support. Save the date - More details coming soon!
